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Martin Mc Carthy's avatar

Maybe your father simply fought the one war he knew he could win because he saw his best self in you, and that gave him satisfaction - not to mention a degree of revenge for having squandered his own hidden talent through timidity. I presume the message is, "Be yourself, no matter what."

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Tommy Swerdlow's avatar

I'm not sure what the message is but be yourself no matter what, always works. I just like the way he got to me. That he gave me the money he couldn't spend on himself and that he didn't psyche to psyche

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Tommy Swerdlow's avatar

i meant did it psyche to psyche.

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Adam Nathan's avatar

You’re next level, T.

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Tommy Swerdlow's avatar

Thank you Herr Nathan

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Kimberly Warner's avatar

“They say the son must “kill” the father if he is ever to truly become a man, but mine came to me self-slayed.” Such a powerful line. 🙏

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Tommy Swerdlow's avatar

Always taken with resonated with you.

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Patris's avatar

Wordsmith. Slayer and avenger.

You are the knight in this and no doubt you were his hero.

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Tommy Swerdlow's avatar

I got my metal pants on. Yes Patris, he got a real kick out of me.

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Pattie Lee Pierce's avatar

Don’t we all!❤️

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Patris's avatar

You must discover yourself as you write, I imagine (as we all do - even if it’s a note on a birthday card). No obligation to answer me, either. I just appreciate you.

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Eric Trules's avatar

I find in my experience that many Jewish wives are so dominating/domineering that they physically and metaphorically silence their husbands. I saw it with many of my parents’ married friends. The men were very sweet, but they had to lie down after dinner & sleep to combat the overwhelmingness of their lioness wives.

I think we’re on the same page this week, Swerdlow. I also wrote a post about public private and secret lives: https://trules.substack.com/p/do-we-all-have-3-different-lives

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Tommy Swerdlow's avatar

It was his mother first, then his wife and also his boss. He was a submissive with a heart full of poetry and rage. Takes all kinds.n I'll read.

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Renee Missel's avatar

I am speechless. This is complicated and the psychology is so well defined. I love your father's short story and the names he assigned each of his selves. Poor man. I have so many questions.

You became the warrior he did not have the energy or temperament to be. You versus the strong, manipulative mother. We are dealing with Greek Tragedy here.

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Tommy Swerdlow's avatar

Greek Jewish tragedy!

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Geraldine A. V. Hughes's avatar

O no, giggle giggle.

It’s “Svengali” powers, I’m boisterously laughing causing a ruckus in the kitchen, rubber chickens are coming in hot and heavy, Saturday night goolies! LG

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ilana simons's avatar

this one has me. is that photo really you?

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Tommy Swerdlow's avatar

It's not me. But the pic fit. It has me too that story, has for sixty years.

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Shaista Ali's avatar

Visiting this today.. A keen sense of hearing the unspoken was born from this relationship. Is the battle over? Can you lay down your weapons? I bet he's very proud.

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Elias S.'s avatar

This was food for the soul today. My father passed away 2 months ago. It was his time, but I love hearing stories like this because I just feel close to him. The enigmatic nature of our parents - the discoveries after they've gone. Thanks for sharing. PS - if you ever felt like posting his story I would definitely read it

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