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Martin Mc Carthy's avatar

You have said a lot of heartfelt things in this piece, Tommy, that touched me because my own brother died not so long ago from Parkinsons, and it was a pretty awful way to go. But, like you with your brother) it was the way he handled it that impressed me the most. He, too, was 'a dignity artist'. I have to stop now. I have tears in my eyes.

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Tommy Swerdlow's avatar

My dad had Parkinsons. Got it when I was eight. That's a tough one. You're a dignity artist yourself MM and I have no doubt he was as well. I was going to say we have to stop meeting like this, but let's not.

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Martin Mc Carthy's avatar

No, this is a good meeting place. Let the dignity artists of the world unite during this new era of the opposite. I mean Trump in power again - today. What a nightmare!

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Alastair Gordon's avatar

Beautiful tribute to your wonderful brother. You captured his spirit. I loved E. We were good buddies at Hampshire College along with gang of other NYC lefties--Mike Peyser, Roland Legiardi-Laura, et al. I made friends with E. the first week of classes. Walked past one another and smiled. We were both big dudes, played high-school football, but now committed to the revolution that never happened. He had that quiet strength that you describe, and yes the "Mighty E" with the infectious laugh that burst forth after an initial round of weed in House 3, in those wintery woods of Massachusetts. We shared a secret dare that I can never reveal but will always remember when I think of your heroic bro... Thank you for this sweet love song. -- Alastair Gordon

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Tommy Swerdlow's avatar

Nice to hear from you and in full voice. Well, at least full for substack comment. The secret dare looms provocative. Amazing how deep those connections made at Hampshire go.

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Holly Starley's avatar

What a wonderful tribute—to life, the best writer, and to your brother, the dignity artist, and how he lived it.

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Tommy Swerdlow's avatar

Yeah.

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Paul's avatar

Tommy thanks for reprinting this piece. After knowing Ez for most of my life including as colleagues in "the biz", your intimate and loving take on his graceful end of life still can reveal a deeper view into him. His last words to me were: .."it's all about empathy".

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Tommy Swerdlow's avatar

Always good to connect over E, Muke.

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Shaista Ali's avatar

I love this picture of him - cool, dignity artist. So much love to E on the other side, and his loved ones that remain here. May you feel his presence in those subtle ways that are undeniable only to you.

Many beautiful, touching lines - this one:

“As we sat there with our fading king between us I thought how lucky we were to all care for each other and have this all be about E.”

We are / were two brothers and two sisters too, and I immediately dropped into that exact gathering around our oldest 👑. I’m in awe still at such a unique experience also being universal.

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Tommy Swerdlow's avatar

The best ones are...Unique and universal. Always make happy when I am reminded you are reading. Thanks Shaista.

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Nina S Hiken's avatar

T, I'm so moved.

"Life is the best writer," fuckin' A.

Thank you.

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Tommy Swerdlow's avatar

You're welcome, NH

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Kimberly Warner's avatar

Such a moving tribute. “He was initiated by fatal illness into the radical acceptance fraternity and was not scared of death.” 🙏

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Tommy Swerdlow's avatar

Glad you felt it, Kimberly and I hope him.

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Rona Maynard's avatar

Dignity artist: the best thing to be. I wish I had known him. With this tribute, you made dignity your readers can carry with them.

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Tommy Swerdlow's avatar

Thanks Rona. Portable dignity's not bad. He was pure.

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Douglas Lee's avatar

Tommy- I loved your writing on Ez. Besides my being born on same day and year he was the integral part of Ridge Drive East clan who I was miraculously introduced to via by relationship with Lis. I’ve felt a part of the family and knew Stash and Amner well. I remember you as a sarcastic hilarious eight year old- old beyond your years. Your memory was good one.

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Tommy Swerdlow's avatar

Nice to hear from you Douglass Lee. Yes, I remember you throughout the years, but also in the Great neck days, your hair especially--thick, long, black, shiny, the cut like it was done with a knife, mystically chopped, more a textile than something growing out of a body. I also ate my first pasta putanesca at a party you threw on west 86th in that huge building that takes up the whole block, but that building not as vase -intimidating as your parents home-- Hope you're well. We do go back a ways

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Bob Burgos's avatar

Beautiful, Tommy. I feel I kinda knew your brother through your heartfelt words, but wish I had actually met him. I want what he had, what I'm sure he earned, and what he shared. May your love and respect for him enrich your life and carry you through good and difficult times.

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Tommy Swerdlow's avatar

That was downright rabbinical, Bobby.

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Renee Missel's avatar

After re-reading, i am struck with how he faced the most important journey we all go through.

Face on. A brave man.

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Tommy Swerdlow's avatar

He came through when it mattered most.

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Renee Missel's avatar

ALS and pancreatic, hell on earth those two. So very sorry. Lovely that you sang him to the other side....music for the soul to let go. When Ramana Maharshi was dying and his followers were sobbing , he looked at them and said "I'm not going anywhere. Where would I go?" I wonder what is more difficult, being born or dying. I bet being born is tougher. Think of the journey.

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Tommy Swerdlow's avatar

Yeah, but you know less. Or maybe you've forgotten what you know. Singing is always good. More singing.

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Anna Schott's avatar

I'm so sorry for your loss.

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Tommy Swerdlow's avatar

Thanks Anna

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Patris's avatar

🌹

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Adam Pelzman's avatar

Beautiful. Thank you for this.

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Tommy Swerdlow's avatar

Thanks for reading Adam. Appreciate you as the athletes say.

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